Money impacts every area of our lives and in order to create a soul fulfilling, financially rewarding life, you’ve got to understand your relationship to it.
A bit of history…
…over 4500 years ago there was a barter system in place to share goods and services. As bartering was complex, money was invented to make the exchange easier. If the original intent was to ensure that everyone’s needs were taken care of, this human invention holds much power and meaning in and over our society.
In fact, you may not think of dollars and sense as something with which you hold a relationship to but believe it or not, you do.
Money is here to supply you with the means to take care of your needs and to create the life you desire and deserve.
The paradox is that money – or more accurately, the lack of money – prevents most people from living the life they want.
do you understand your relationship to money?
If this is you, then the first step to getting your money life in order is to understand your relationship to it.
So what does money mean to you?
Because, it represents different things to different people and you’d probably be surprised at some of the money attitudes, beliefs and behaviours you never consciously knew you held.
I’ve had a tumultuous relationship to money over the years and, when I was growing up, it represented love, power, status to name a few things. I’ve experienced having an abundant amount of money to feeling that I didn’t have enough to cover my expenses. For real? Yes! and what I’ve come to realize is the driver behind my relationship to money is the story I’ve had around it, the role it’s played in my life, and the power it’s held over me. Once bitten, twice shy and my recurring story story about me and my money was grounded in the negative experiences I had been through. Living with this mindset then determined my actions which created my results which were the opposite of what it means to have a harmonious relationship to money.
Bottom line, if the old story wasn’t working, it was time for a new one and first I had to understand and unpack my beliefs around exactly what money represented to me.
the facts about money
From a factual perspective:
- Money is life energy – a means of exchange for goods and services
- Money in and of itself has no value – our experiences with it determine the value we place upon it
- Money can be both master and servant – it is up to us to choose which role it will play in our lives
- Money is a necessity – we all need it to exist, so it’s important that we have a healthy relationship with it
- Money is pretty much a taboo subject in our society – an emotionally charged topic not readily or openly discussed. In fact, there’s not a single topic, including sex, which is so stringently avoided in public. Ironically, it’s the unwillingness to openly discuss that creates and maintains the mystery
What money myths hold you back?
Many of us have also be raised with money myths – a story or belief held by a culture or group of people forming a common “truth”, widely accepted and often taking on a life of its own.
These myths get ingrained in our thoughts and these thoughts become our stories which we play out leading to the financial results we want…or don’t.
Our attachment to these stories can make it next to impossible for us to change our money story.
In fact, these myths become so automatic we don’t even realize we subscribe to them.
Do any of these sound familiar?
- Money is the root of all evil
- It takes money to make money
- Once you’re in debt, you can never get out
- There’s never enough to go around
- Investing is for the rich
- When I have X number of dollars saved up, I’ll be happy
- She’s filthy rich and he’s dirt poor
If you want to know what drives your money habits, start paying attention to the words you use and the thoughts you hold concerning money or your life for that matter.
managing your money thoughts
As you’ll discover, your thoughts form your beliefs, which, in turn, form your reality. This means that the key to making the changes your desire in your relationship to money is first being aware of your current thoughts, patterns and habits.
So let me ask again – what does money mean to you?
How does it define who you are, or not?
Is it a measure of your success?
Is it Love? Power? Control? Security? Weapon? Shield?
Pretty much everyone has some funky stuff around money.
I’ve certainly had my ups and downs with it and, at different times in my life, it has represented love, power, acceptance and self worth – or lack of.
I have felt lots of shame around it and I’ve envied others who had more than me. I’ve experienced the fear of what it’s like to not have enough and I’ve known what it’s like to have all my needs taken care of . What I came to realize was that I was allowing my net worth to determine my sense of self worth and that was both painful and eye opening.
Today, I see money as a tool to serve me in attaining my goals and dreams. As I become more in tune with the fact that money is here to serve me rather than letting it define who I am, I am creating a new perspective, a new relationship to money. I have less emotional charge around it now and I understand that my role is to steward and preserve what I do have, be responsible with how I use it and, manage my thoughts and emotions around it so I don’t buy into the myth that there’s never going to be enough to go around. Also, I’m understanding that my ability to bring more money into my life create more money is directly connected to the amount of value that I generate in the world. This is a really interesting place to create from.
I’ll be writing more on this topic in a later post.
For now, here are a few questions I encourage you to reflect on:
Is your relationship to money a harmonious one?
How is your current story around money working for you?
What parts of your story need to change?